Gao Shan / oral
Small question / writing
I am Gantan (@ 中 混 混 女 女 啊 丽娜), 70, home, hometown in Yanbian. 19 years old, for turning over, I have bid farewell to my parents, and I will go to Russia to make money. That is a girl who is twenty-eight years ago, I am still an ignorant girl. At that time, I would go back to my hometown after a few years, but the development of things is totally different from I imagined. Half life has passed, I still can’t get in a foreign land. It turns out that I just want to make money, now I just want to go home. It is said that it will live a good life, it is not, but waiting, waiting to go home.
This is my recent photo in the Russian family.
I have three brothers, my mother finally regrets me, saying that daughter is paying money. Father hurts me but has no right. My brother is very good to me, but they can’t help me. When you are high school, I love it, I can’t buy anything, my mother said that I have to make money I bought it. I made this mistake, and I dropped out of school. Parents are busy, I can’t take me, I will go.
I will go to the waiter, salary 80. Then go to the textile factory, stay in two days and nights, salary 200. I have understood suffering, there is no diploma, I can only be textile, my life is the poor, live in the bungalow.
This is 1986, I am in the river of Yanbian.
I want to change my body, but when the salesperson must be diplove. In the 1980s, there is no high school diploma, and you don’t want me. To achieve salty fish, I have to take a diploma. I saved the night school Japanese language, and I haven’t started to catch up with China and Russia to resume the border, the side trade is active, and the Russian translation is suddenly shortage. The school informs the Japanese class to change the Russian language class, the number of applicants has increased. After a daily class, the classroom sounds \”the night outside Moscow\”. I follow the times and start learning Russian.
Father resolutely opposed, he thought that I was working in a lifetime, don’t toss. Don’t I don’t want it? Do you have to work? What Russian is learning? I am sure that I don’t want to be textile, that is not what I want. The translation wages are high, can sit in the office, learn to be able to negotiate the table.
There is a goal, I am very hard. Night school started twice a week, I went to work during the day, study at night, catch up with night shift, I will leave. One year, the textbook only learns a half, many students are bitter, and finally don’t stay, Russian class is yellow. The border trade company urgently came to the Russian office translation, as a good student, I was selected, suddenly I feel that the whole world is in front of me, I just need to catch it. Excited, I can’t sleep, and immediately play a small abacus: go out for three years. For up to five years, earn 50,000 yuan will come back to open a small store.
Father came again: Soviet just disintegrate, you go to that danger! There are high sizes blue eyes, you have a girl, what should I do if it is cheated? I said, I am not afraid, I am afraid of poor. Father advised me to stop paying, I gave me a veto! When I translated it, I still go back as a textile?
This is I am in Yanbian, two years before going abroad.
Office passport, a visa, May 1993, starting from the map. I didn’t cry, my child is too many, my mother can’t wait to go out. My brother sent me to the station, sitting on the bus to go to the spring. All home: a thousand dollars, a few clothes, a senior suitcase for twenty dollars.
The off is Russia’s Krasunno Town, and the company sent a car to pick me to Varamu, and arranged in the house to rented the company. I have asked in Russia before, the teacher said \”the Soviet movie\”, where can I go to the Soviet movie? I didn’t even have seen it. This will be known, Russian family has a car, living in building, 24-hour hot water, drinking fresh milk, their life is really advanced. The company has a food, the monthly salary is 800 yuan, equal to me four times in China.
My Russian course has not been completed, nature is a small role, run running legs, answer the phone. Sometimes I follow the senior translation, I don’t understand, people don’t want to take it. Not reused, I am very annoyed, listen to others say there is a Far East University, I am going to learn Russian, tuition a year of 70,000 rubles (with more than 20,000 yuan) can’t afford to pay. After half a year, the company’s business is getting worse. Just introduce the Russian, the Russian, who teaches Russian, I simply resigner. There is not much money in your hands, but you can find it easily in the market, I don’t.
This is my town, and thirty years did not change.
Teaching Russian is a teacher of the Far East University. Russians are generally unbelievable, and the teacher agrees that I live in her family, I will make a living expense. The teacher is very representative in Russia: missing men. The man is not dead, it is divorced. Her family stayed with three generations, they are women, teachers raise their family. I will pay five thousand rubles (one thousand five hundred yuan) for a month, and I can eat tube.
Living in the living room, three meals to eat potatoes, black bread, pasta, snacks are black tea with biscuits. The teacher gave me a homework every day before working, and I came back to check. I will go to the market during the day, there is Chinese people who have the power stall, I often go to help the old man to bargain, you can earn one hundred to one hundred and sixty-five rubles every day (30 to 50).
Advanced life in the fantasy is so unspeakable. Seeing the teacher’s family always put the money into the canned bottle and then buried into the vegetable cellar, couldn’t help but ask. What? Do not dare to deposit bank? Take money to make an appointment? What is the limit? Bank is unreliable? Is this a country? It turned out that in July 1993, the government announced that the Soviet version of the Soviet version of the Soviet version of the Soviet version of the Soviet version of the Soviet version of the Russian version of the Russian version of the Russian version of the 1992.Obound, only the 1993 version of the new ruble is allowed. Only three days, the people have to take the old ruble to the bank to change the new ruble. Anyway, that is, the rich is directly poor, the poor will change the poor! The money in a lifetime is taking the paper. At that time, the long dragon at the door of the bank was a few kilometers long. I didn’t have money in my hand. I didn’t matter to me, but I really feel that the whole country is panicked.
The uneasiness feels step by step, and the market is in the market. Whoever makes a lot of money, who is robbed, who is killed, not the legend is a tragedy. I have a fellow, come here to do a big business, cash is in the warehouse, which makes him got. That day, he was playing mahjong there, and he rushed in, and took a gun and took a table. I thought, I earned money, I quickly returned to China, which is not a long time.
After two months, I didn’t have money, moved out, rent a small room next to the market. Go to another company as translation, Russian is better than before, two thousand yuan. Follow the manager, roughly find which business can make money.
After a long time, the doorbell rang, the manager arrived. The Russian people look at the cat and found him alone. The door opened, and one big hand stretched out, and took him into the house. He just wanted to shout, the gun handle opened his head, fell directly, on the ground. There is a drums of drums in the suit falling out, and the old man is taken away, the whirlwind disappears. The door is ringing, I want to go to the balcony to see they open the car, the legs are soft, when they moved to the balcony, they didn’t make a lot of shadow. Looking back to send manager to the hospital, so it is a slight brain. His 10,000 US dollars didn’t have two thousand dollars. The Russian police were too lazy, and it was not good to report the case and was also knocked on a money. No money, no one protects me, wait until you die, I will take the bus to return to China.
In the company’s Dongning office hid for half a month, he did not dare to tell his family. Most of the money is robbed, there is no other way out, I can only return to Russia. I met a Russian when I went to repair the car. He is not the same as others, there are not many words, only the head is working.
This is him that I just met in 1997.
Later, it was familiar, and he knew that he was a soldier, retired back in the repair shop. It seems that others are very good, I trust him, I will talk to him. He said that you are too dangerous to run back, do you do business together? I need someone to protect me, I have to actively be more than him, let’s talk.
I have a few savings left, buy himThe Japanese small truck, go to Harbin, put the furniture, red brick, ceramics, and then pour the waste metal here, sell it to Hebei processing plant. He drives, I purchases, translated, find a proxy company, declaration, and finally, I am responsible for selling Russian goods in China, and he is responsible for selling Chinese goods in Russia. So, I was running on both sides.
This is in 1999, we went to Russia for the first time in Russia for the first time.
He has a girlfriend, and I will take her in China, and I naturally do the landlord. Once someone introduced me to my boyfriend, I happened when I was eating, he called to call, I’m going to enter the country, I said to eat together. During the seat, he took the order first. He didn’t cover up the coldness of that person, and he wo hooded, this man couldn’t match you. We have nothing to talk about, the relationship is very special, I am like his buddy, he is like my male girlfriend. So, a year passed.
I didn’t have a phase, he was also broken up by my girlfriend, and we naturally we were fine. I don’t mean anything, I am very determined. I don’t want to marry him. For me, China is home, foreign countries are always elsewhere, this Russian man is friends, partners, lover. His heart leads God, don’t say sweet words, don’t say you want to marry me.
This is 2000, I and three brothers in Yanji. Here, the original street is very narrow, the street is broken.
In the past seven years, it has been 2000. Run back, there is a kind of feeling more and more obvious, both sides of the border line, one is changing, one stops. China has a magical, the bungalow is gone, and the high-rise is standing. The various imported cars on the street. Friends have been idle, suddenly talking about business, and it seems to be a big one. Russia, the gray building is still broken, the Volga is like old antiques.
This is January 2000 I asked him to go to Sanya.
In January 2000, I asked him to go to Sanya. He invited me to Moscow, leave a commemoration, worship! It’s coming, he said that he asked her mother. \”I married a Chinese daughter-in-law, would you oppose?\” Mom said, \”As long as it is your love, I don’t object.\” Have a Chinese daughter-in-law? There is no other Chinese woman around him? That is me?
He is not sure I can come to Russia life, no relatives and friends, can’t say mother tongue. When he saw it in Sanya, China’s development was so good, and Russian life monotonous, like a countryside. He does not directly say \”I want to marry you\”, he knows, if I refuse, my friends can’t do it. I told him that I can’t leave, my home is in China, I am not going back, I will go next month. This is a blind love story, breaking up like a night, always fall, that day is very calm.
finally went home. 20,000, my first bucket of gold, turn over. When I got home, I immediately spent 11,000 to buy a house for my parents, 125 square meters. Move from the bungalow, the father cried, said that I suffered, too much. The mother is very proud, looking around. Family is happy, my mood is slightly fixed. After a happy day, I didn’t play my heart. I want to open a small bar, slowly discovering, I don’t contribute to the circle and integrate into the circle. When drinking with friends, far, my heart is always elsewhere. This feeling is unknown, I avoid it, I don’t dare. Until one day, he called me how to ask me, let me go down, I will cry.
This is May 2000, I met again in Harbin again.
Soon, he called again, ask if you can accompany him to Harbin buy furniture? I went, but I know, this changed the fact that I couldn’t break up. After a week, we had to separate again, and each home. Crying, I don’t help, I have to face reality: I don’t want to leave China, he doesn’t want to leave Russia.
The mother didn’t sleep overnight. The next morning, he said that he had to call him, see him attitude. As a result, he is happy, \”\” To make a child, don’t get rid of it, get married immediately. \” This sentence is enough. Mother said that there is no requirement, it must be a milder. Father worried that I wedd abroad, in case of being angry, returning to the mother and have to go to the country. My brother is afraid that the foreigners don’t want me, Chinese men will not want me. I don’t participate in the debate, there is no meaning. I have some people who want to marry. Autumn, I left home again, returned to Russia, and he quickly gave a wedding.
This is 2000 in winter in Russia, I first saw his mother and his sister for the first time.
Their home is also an ordinary family. He has a brother and a sister. A family is helping each other, which is a kind person, which is in line with my parents’ expectations.
On the eve of Christmas, we were married. One hour ceremony, both sides signed, interchange the ring. Sole, sacred, we swear, from now on, we will belong to each other, loyal to each other, unless you die. Friends and relatives send flowers in music, go to the dinner, mother father’s brother girlfriend is coming, he arranges all the way. We live in his small house, 50 square meters large, enough.
This is our wedding in December 2000, and I have been pregnant for seven months.
In March, I gave birth to a big daughter. From the birth inspection to the child, all free. Didn’t sit on the moon, Russians don’t sit on the month, I don’t sit.
This is March 2002 that he went home from the hospital and went home with the newborn.
Then we bought the floor, cover the villa, brick structure, and interior all solid wood, spent more than one million yuan, all the money we earned together. Move from the bungalow to the building, move from the building to the villa, dreaming, I can’t think of it, I am not only completely turned over, but also my own yard, garden, garage, and death. He also took it over, he said that he had experienced the War of the Guo Guo, and he had suffered a lot. He is a filial son, I am very interested in this point.
This is 2002, our new chatest.
Those years, every weekend, we all have a home banquet in the villa, four people in tonal, everyone is good for me. Have love, have children, have family, occasionally can return to China, I am not missing. I am very happy, I thought I would be happy forever.
We started to do border trade and crossing the country. This is no longer duty, we are a family. He is very much more enthusiastic than before, and the heart is focused on what we have to do.
Everything is stable, and the idea of \u200b\u200bgoing home is coming out. Home, is the belief of Chinese people. Go home, it is the instinct of people. He is not against, he said that China has developed faster than Russia. We discussed, in the future, the child did the university. Where did we raise the old, there is no dispute, and consistent China. In 2007, after the picked selection, we bought a set of rooms in Dalian, sunshine, sea, and Russians favorite. We are ready to wait for the child to grow up, the money earns more, and the time is mature, we will go back.
In 2008, the little daughter was born. So far, it is the happiest ten years in my life. Have him, have children, rich, have a dream, and the days are getting better and better.
At that time, we didn’t want to make money, and the child is more important. I started to take care of the child at home, and he went out to make money. The loan bought several big trucks, his bag project, running transport, and participated in the construction of highway. It is good to start the market, you can earn some money, soon, the financial crisis is coming, the more you make it difficult to earn, while you want to make a family, you have to pay back, you suddenly have a lot of stress.
This is 2008 little daughter and grandmother, too grandma.
In 2012, his body began to uncomfortable, go to Vladivostok to check, uncertain, and go to Harbin or not. Finally, I was confirmed by Beijing, diagnosed, has already lung cancer. We don’t believe in, and go back to Vladivostok. The doctor said, go home, two or three months. I can’t be automatically controlled, the first time I am in the first time, what is the use of medical free? Technology is not very backward! NoWens, we return to Harbin. In recent years, a man who passed the soldiers and gradually disappeared. After returning to Russia, he died in me.
When the wedding eleven years, when the noisy, the gardens thought of divorce, I couldn’t think that he didn’t want to go back to China with me … I didn’t expect it to be a way to break with him. This approach leaves. I am determined to come to the exoticial hometown, I decided to have he passed, the money has, the big villa has, the car has, the child has, after, people have gave it. How could this be? How can I happen to myself?
This is the last photo of his and our 2012 Spring Festival in Dalian.
His brother said that this Chinese woman must take the money to run, definitely find someone else, do not talk to me for his brother, don’t talk to me.
I sold the villa and several cars. I also pay off debts in the same year. I took back the mortgage.
His parents express, in the future, children have to use money, \”We give up inheritance\”. I am very touched, and lawyers are also surprised. My brother said to his car to pay, I agree. The sister is small, I will pass a small house and the garage to her. These are all I promised. Then, I moved to the small house opposite the villa with the children.
This is the night we moved from the villa in 2013.
Russian mother-in-law said, \”You hurry back home, don’t delay yourself, hurry to find someone to marry. First take the little, the big stay here, go to China, come to China, Let’s help you raise big. \”Father said,\” You return home soon, after all, there is a mother’s family, a woman is thin, and the two children are sure. \”
To take, you must take the child away. The little daughter is only 4 years old, and I don’t understand anything. The big daughter is 11 years old. It is already in the middle of the school, there is no way to transfer back to the country. I went to ask her opinions, she cried and said, \”Mom, don’t go first, wait for my junior high school to read with you\”, I am sad. My life has been broken, but I can break it. I can’t let her have two, I have to stay.
I have two international transport trucks, there can be some income, coupled with the subsidies of the Russian government to children, each hundred thousand rubles per month (the RMB 1,600), we should Can live.
This is himTwo children behind, two children in Russia.
He just got three years, every night, I stared at the opposite house. His life is over, I am also alive. Sometimes crying in the kitchen, smashing, hugging me, big, hiding, hiding, then she is in adolescents. Dad’s go, hit her hit too much, for a while, she took the grievances in me, and I didn’t complain about it.
She is rebellious, don’t love reading, don’t want to learn Chinese. I have eaten the bitterness of culture, forced her to learn, she resists, and quarrels have become more intensified. Later, we went to find a psychiatrist and solved what you can’t. Doing the parents’ impact, the child’s fate, the child has her own idea. Just like I drop out of school, resigned, go abroad, just like my father. , Only the time. The child always has a big day, then she will understand everything.
This is now my children, big 19 years old, small 13 years old.
A person took two children in exotic country, hard work is affirmative. This year, the big daughter is 19 years old, the government does not give subsidies, I decided to do purchasing, pick home. Small 13 years old, very sensible, learning is good, painful mother, give me a lot of comfort.
The family is like a mother, and they treat me as a daughter. I called my mother-in-law for twenty years. They lived in the village of 10 kilometers from our small town, see twice a week. His brother saw that I pulled two children, especially for me, and I took me as a relative. Even so, here is not my place. I used to go back to my parents every year, my parents are not there, I still want to go back. I want to say my mother tongue every day, eat my hometown, and look forward to the Spring Festival like when you are.
When the big daughter said, after reading junior high school, the result is now finished reading. Nowadays, the little is also in the middle, but she has to wait until she can go. After the husband passed away, I was still for eight years, but also more than eight years. At the beginning, I left home and said to go, who can think, now I want to return to China, don’t you say back?
I am ready to wait for them to take them back to the country, then I will find a companion, take care of yourself, jumping with the square dance, go shopping, don’t give them a chaotic. My mother-in-law is not willing to go, but I hope that we will get better and better.
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